


We're In This Together

by orphan_account



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Family, Family Drama, Humor, M/M, Twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-29
Updated: 2013-09-21
Packaged: 2017-12-21 16:53:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/902638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A family!Khirk fic. Khan is serving under Captain Kirk on the USS Enterprise, while also serving a three year probation sentence. Kirk is attempting to balance his first five-year mission with being a first-time father. And he *still* can't tell his twins apart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Trouble With Identical Twins...

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is based off of prompts given by you. I'd love to hear your suggestions about hilarious hijinks for the family to get into!! Just drop a comment and let me know :)

Identical sets of ice blue eyes met his, and Jim knew without a doubt that he was totally, undeniably screwed.

While he and Uhura had, admittedly, not always seen eye-to-eye, he knew that she would never be outright cruel to him – on a professional or personal level. And, really, the outfits were adorable… But… He looked between his two daughters frantically, realizing for the first time just how identical they were.

Thick, dark ebony curls danced around their chubby cheeks, and were perfectly framed around their ashen faces. Icy blue eyes, which were identical to the frozen cerulean orbs of their other father, peered at him curiously. There were absolutely no identifying features whatsoever. And the addition of matching dresses really didn’t help.

Jim picked one up, feeling the familiar weight of the eight-month-old in his arms. “You’re Heaven.” He said confidently. That was, until he looked over at the other baby. “Or are you Heaven?”

“Gah!” The first baby clapped her hands. “Gah duh!” Jim frowned. If only she could tell him what her name was!

“Your Daddy’s gonna have a fit if I put the wrong booties on you again.” Jim said, barely able to withhold a sigh. “I should put a ‘Do Not Touch’ sign on those suckers – maybe then they’d actually stay on your feet.”

The second baby was pulling herself to her feet inside of the crib. “Gah! Gah duh bluh! Bluh!”

Jim lifted the other baby, who may or may not have been Nevaeh, and carried them both over to the changing table. Once they were seated, he stared at them really hard. Finally, he concluded, “You’re Heaven, you’re Nevaeh.”

The babies shared a look, before making a collective “Gah!”

“You two are very helpful. Thank you both so much.” Jim bit back sarcastically.

He took them both out of their pretty new dresses and folded them up, before placing them onto the stack of clothes that Uhura had bought for them. He then took out the outfits that Khan had had made for him – one had ‘Heaven’ embroidered on the front, the other ‘Nevaeh’. At first, he’d been kinda pissy about it. But they really did help.

That was, of course, when he wasn’t the one telling them apart. He almost never dressed the girls. Khan had no problem telling them apart, so he was always the one to put the outfits on. Kirk chalked it up to some augment crap. It would definitely make sense, considering both girls had inherited Khan’s augmented genetics.

Standing there for several minutes, he listened to them converse in their complicated baby talk. He didn’t get how Khan seemed to understand their nonsensical ramblings. It was all gibberish to him. But that didn’t matter. Right now, he had to get them dressed. He took out Heaven’s onesie and put it on the first baby, before dressing the other.

“You did it wrong.” Khan’s deep, haughty voice filled Jim’s ear. The poor Captain nearly leaped out of his skin, desperately clutching his chest as he fought off a heart attack.

The babies were cheering as Khan quickly switched their clothes around. “Well, excuse me, but it’s not my fault that Uhura bought them matching dresses… again!”

Khan smirked. “When we next circle around Earth, remind me to burn those in the sun.”

Jim could feel laughter bubbling within him, but he fought to keep it down. “Funny.”

“Gah duh baba!” Heaven clapped happily. 

“Baba no gah blah!” Nevaeh joined her. 

And then Khan’s laughing. He’s actually laughing. Kirk thinks that he might faint. His lover’s laughter is entirely foreign to his ears. But… as the dark blush that slowly soaks into his cheeks suggests… he’s not exactly turned-off by it. Quite the opposite, actually. When Khan was with the girls, Jim saw an entirely different side of him. He liked it.

Suddenly, Khan’s staring at him, piercing blue eyes seemingly boring holes into him. The blush only seems to intensify. “You do realize they have two different eye colors, don’t you?”

Jim’s eyes widened. “They do? Really?” And suddenly, he was staring at their eyes, trying to find the difference.

“Yes.” Khan nodded, that unbearable haughtiness back in his voice. “Heaven’s eyes are Egyptian blue, while Nevaeh’s eyes are Catalina blue.” Like that was supposed to clear everything up.

Jim thought for a moment, trying to remember the week-long stretch of torture where Khan had attempted to teach him the variants of a wide-variety of colors (and cram in a few lessons about the language of flowers). He looked between the two girls once more, before coming to a conclusion.

“Aren’t those basically the same color?”

“Yes.” Jim was about to make a snarky comment, when Khan added, “Almost. But not quite.”

“Oh, like that makes a whole hell of a lot of difference.”

And, really, if Jim had noticed the way that the girls’ interest peaked when he started to swear, he would’ve shut up right then. Khan had mentioned on several occasions that augment children were fast learners, and that they could understand far more of their conversations than Kirk often credited them for. Pretty soon, they’d start to speak.

Jim continued to rant, only stopping when he heard a soft “Motherfucker” come from the direction of his two darling daughters… followed by intense bouts of childish laughter.

It was going to be a long night.


	2. Dance Lessons

“Computer,” there is a soft trill. “Play Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 in D Minor.”

Khan then closes the distance between them, bringing Jim’s hand to his hip and pulling their bodies unbearably close. It’s supposed to be a harmless little dance lesson. After all, it wouldn’t do for the captain to show up to his first mate’s wedding and not know how to dance. But this… this is much more than he expected.

Khan is dressed impeccably in a trim, off-white sweater, crisp black slacks, and black socks. Even their twins, Heaven and Nevaeh, look unbearably cute in their little black dresses. It makes Jim feel somewhat lackluster in his oversized white t-shirt and baggy blue sweatpants. Khan doesn’t say anything, so Jim decides it doesn’t really matter.

The augmented human had taken it upon himself (with the help of two little augments, Jim supposed) to decorate the room. Flickering lavender candles cast a dull illumination in the otherwise dark room. Red rose petals were scattered all over the floor. And Khan’s PADD is on the floor, creating holographic stars that dance across the ceiling.

“Are you sure that… all of this is… well, you know… necessary?” Jim offers weakly. He’s following Khan’s lead, just like Khan told him to, but he feels kind of stupid, slowly shuffling across the floor for an audience of two.

“Yes.” Khan nods stiffly, his mouth turned down into a frown. “It is one-hundred percent necessary. I will not have you attend the wedding and embarrass me with your inability to dance.”

The two-year-olds share a look. Heaven laughs, pointing one chubby finger at Jim. “Papa left feet.”

Nevaeh’s laughing too, covering her little rose-bud mouth with her hand. “Papa no dance no more.”

Jim frowns. “See? Even they think that I can’t dance! And they’re two. Let’s just face the facts – I’m a lost cause.” There was a moment’s pause. “There, we’ve all had time to accept the facts. Now, if you don’t mind -,”

He starts to pull away from Khan, but Khan pulls him back, closer than ever. “Maybe that’s because they actually listen to their teacher.” Khan says, continuing to guide Kirk around the floor.

But, no matter how hard he tries, he seems entirely unable to grasp the basics of dancing. Heaven and Nevaeh are laughing at him all the while, joking in a language all their own about Jim’s ‘two left feet’. Khan rolls his eyes, but Jim can tell that he’s secretly amused. Khan can never manage to be angry at the girls for very long.

Finally, the girls slip off the bed, mimicked Khan and Kirk’s stance, and then started to dance in a poor interpretation of the waltz that Khan was attempting to teach Kirk. It was obvious that Heaven was Khan and Nevaeh was Kirk, because Nevaeh kept making a show out of stomping on Heaven’s feet… Now, it was Kirk’s turn to roll his eyes.

“So you think that you can dance better than me, huh?” Jim asked, catching the attention of the two-year-olds.

The two girls share a look, before they nod. In perfect synch, they answer, “Yes.”

Jim pulled away from Khan, who let out a long-suffering sigh. He placed his hands on his hips, obviously bracing for quite the battle. After all, there was nothing quite like battling with a two-year-old. “What makes you think that?”

“’Cause Daddy say Papa tone-deaf.” Heaven answered immediately. Jim shot Khan a glare, and if looks could kill…

“He say that, if the world gonna end, and Papa had to sing to save it… the world end.” Nevaeh supplied helpfully.

“And Papa got no rhythm.” Heaven continued. “He don’t know how to feel music.” Or, at least, that was what Khan said. She didn’t really know what it meant. “And the music no like him.”

“And he can’t dance out of wet paper bag.” Nevaeh finished proudly.

“Well, then, I guess I really am a lost cause.” Jim said, but there was no real malice behind it. Heaven and Nevaeh went back to dancing with each other.

It only took a few more seconds for Kirk to step on Khan’s foot. Khan let out a rather undignified sound – not because it necessarily hurt, but because it caught him off guard – and if he let a few curses out, well, who would really blame him? In trying to help, Kirk inadvertently backed him into the end of the bed and knocked him down.

Unfortunately, there wasn’t enough bed behind him to catch him, and he fell onto the floor with a loud thud. The two girls hurried over to him, Heaven plopping down on his chest and Nevaeh tangling her little body around one of his legs. They then proceeded to bounce around, giggling madly as they abused Khan’s augmented body.

Kirk watched, barely able to contain a smile, as one of the girls made her way down to Khan’s foot and started to remove his sock. She made a face that seemed to scream ‘stinky’, before throwing it at her sister. Her sister made a loud, yelping sound, throwing the sock around like it was a hot potato. Finally, she threw it back, starting a sock war.

But then, the first girl paused. A sinister smile started to stretch across her face and, leaning down, she raked tiny fingernails over Khan’s bare foot. Kirk frowned. “Nevaeh, leave Daddy’s foot alone.”

The girl looked up. “I Heaven, Papa.”

And just like that, Jim Kirk lost all semblance of control.


	3. Adopted? Not Quite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to update! Life got pretty hectic for awhile there, but things have started to calm down. As long as things continue this way, I plan to update much more frequently from now on!

"What beautiful little girls!" A bubby young woman, dressed in the typical uniform of an Earth-bound StarFleet medical officer, told Jim. "It's so nice of you to adopt Ardanan orphans! You know, statistics show that the Ardanan race truly thrives when out from under the influence of the cloud people."

For a moment, Jim was struck into silence. Adopted? How in the hell had she gotten that idea? "Um... excuse me? My girls are _not_ adopted." He informed her. Seemingly unconvinced, Jim added, "And they're one-hundred percent human." Augmented humans, true, but human nonetheless.

"Really?" Reaching down, she brushed Heaven's silky black locks away from her face. Heaven keened and buried her face in Jim's leg. "I could've sworn I had seen a litte bit of Orion in them..."

"Do my girls look _green_ to you?" Jim placed a hand on the back of Heaven's head, threading his fingers through her hair in an attempt to comfort her.

The medical officer, however, did not answer. "Saurian, perhaps?"

Jim wasn't sure whether to be surprised or insulted. The characteristics of the Saurian race were a reptilian-like face and buggy, red eyes. "Like I said, my girls are one-hundred percent _human_." He emphasized the word 'human', trying to get the concept through her thick skull. "I should know, I was there."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm making a complete ass out of myself, aren't I? My name is Dr. Melinda DeWitt. It is a pleasure to finally meet you, Captain."

Slowly, Jim blinked, staring at the woman before him in dumbstruck awe. Over the last several months, there had been a particularly violent outbreak of Romulan measles in StarFleet HQ. CMOs from various ships had been pulled to attempt to handle and contain the outbreak - among those taken had been Leonard McCoy of the _Enterprise_. In talking with Admiral White, who had taken the place of the deceased Admiral Marcus, Jim had discovered that his acting CMO would be none other than Dr. DeWitt... the woman who couldn't tell the difference between a human and an Orion.

Feeling even less comfortable with the idea than he had in the beginning, he reached out and shook her outstretched hand, not wanting to make her feel worse than she already did. While Jim was otherwise occupied, the two girls shared a look. Conversing in their mangled talk, they formulated their plan. Neveah broke off first, latching onto Dr. DeWitt's shopping cart and climbing inside. Once she was seated amidst the various odds and ends, Heaven charged the cart, hopping onto the metal bar connecting the two back wheels. Quickly, the cart started rolling toward the deli.

As soon as Jim saw the cart speeding away, he yanked his hand back. Dr. DeWitt, misconstruing what this meant, simply asked, "I'm sorry, sir. Have I done something to offend you?"

"What the - Get back here you little brats!" Jim pushed his cart forward a little, looking as if he was planning on following them, but then he stopped.

"Excuse me?" Confusion was etched onto her pretty features as she tried to decipher what Jim had said.

"Oh, no. I'm very sorry. I wasn't talking to you." Panicked screams coming from the direction that his kids had taken off pulled him out of his apology, and he turned his attention back to the run-away cart. "Heaven, watch out! You're about to steer right into the -,"

As if on cue, the cart slammed full-force into the apple display. Red delicious apples came crashing down onto the tile floor, falling in every which way. Jim could only watch, mortified, as customers frantically dashed out of the way of the produce onslaught. To make matters worse, the girls were _laughing_ at the destruction they were causing. Reaching into Dr. DeWitt's purse, Neveah pulled out a tube of lipstick. They tossed it onto the table where the apples had once been displayed, leaving a sort of 'signature' behind. Then, they took off again.

"What the hell are those brats doing?!" Dr. DeWitt suddenly exclaimed. It would seem as if the 'beautiful girls' were quickly losing their charm.

"Destroying the store." Jim commented, almost nonchalantly. It would be rather difficult to explain that this happened on a regular basis - everytime that they were Earth-bound, as a matter of fact. Some people just didn't understand the joys of raising two girls of genius-level intelligence and super-strength (combined with a lovely slew of other talents that weren't worth mentioning at the time).

When one of the girls took out a used condom wrapper and threw it out of the cart, Jim couldn't help but laugh. Dr. DeWitt, however, was fuming. "I don't see how this is so funny. What have I done to make them want to make fun of me like this?"

Jim sobered up rather quickly. "They're four-year-olds of above-average intelligence. They make fun of everyone. Well, except their father. They debate intergalactic politics with him. So, everyone else."

"And you condone this sort of behavior?" She made it sound like he was the worst parent in the world.

Jim shook his head. "Not really. But you have to understand that, even with children as perfect as my own - and really, why wouldn't they be perfect, with me as their father - they have a lot of energy. That amount of energy, combined with their unique... skill set, could cost us lives in space. Here... well, on Earth, it just costs us a shitload of money."

Jim, abandoning his cart, slowly started to follow the wreckage that Heaven and Neveah were leaving behind. Dr. DeWitt, against her better judgement, followed closely behind. They watched as the girls rammed into a shelf of glass jars, containing tomato juice. They fell to the floor and shattered, leaving a mess that looked suspiciously akin to a murder scene. Laughing, they reached into Dr. DeWitt's purse and pulled out a plastic container of tissues, tossing them into the mess. Within seconds of creating the mess, they set out to make a new one.

Jim's amused horror only seemed to grow as they followed the trail of destruction. Things went from bad to worse in the family planning center. The girls had taken stickers from the doctor's purse, which had sayings like _'Practice Safe Intergalactic Sex'_ and _'Can you name all 267 Intergalactic STDs?'_ , and had placed them all over the plastic diveders that stood between the consumer and the various methods of protection. Jim had a hard time imagining her carrying those around in her purse. Dr. DeWitt had a hard time believing the girls knew what an STD was.

After a small catastrophe in the clothing department (the girls had combined red food coloring from the produce department and one of the hypos from the doctor's purse to create a sort of paint blaster), they ended up in the children's department - where Jim had originally left Khan, to attempt to kill two birds with one stone. As usual, the cart raced ahead of them, looking to make a direct impact with the unsuspecting Augment. And, in keeping with the rest of the day, Dr. DeWitt seemed to be the only one concerned about the inevitable collision.

Not bothering to take his attention away from the pack of antique Barbie dolls in his right hand, he reached out with his left and looped his fingers into the grill of the cart, effectively stopping it in it's tracks. The girls, oozing with excitement over seeing their Daddy, climbed out of the cart and started to climb onto the Augment. "Daddy!"

" _Daddy?"_ Dr. DeWitt asked, immediately able to recognize the intergalactic terrorist. Within seconds, she had blacked out, collapsing to the floor.

Khan looked down at the fallen doctor, clearly unimpressed. "Who is this?"

"Oh, let me introduce you to Dr. DeWitt. She's the CMO that StarFleet wants to send me to replace Bones for the next month and a half." Jim scoffed, taking the packet of Barbie dolls off of Khan's hands.

Khan blinked. "Somehow, I do not think that she will accept her new post." Jim mumbled his agreement. Taking Khan's cart, he started back toward the food department. It was probably useless to go back and hope that his cart was still waiting there, anyhow. Khan followed closely behind, not even struggling beneath the weight of the two little girls.

"Some doctor _she_ was. She thought that the girls were _Orions_..." Both scoffed at the idea, but deep down, Jim shuddered at the thought of changing an Orion diaper...


End file.
